Anger needs to be express, but not dumped on another living creature.
I used to punish when “someone made me angry.” I was quick-witted and lacked compassion so I could hurt people with my words, viciously. Eventually, when my self-awareness and self-esteem started to heal, I understood that we are all one so hurting another hurts me so I stopped by taking full responsibility for myself and my emotions.
Anger is natural emotion.
We are not to deny any part of ourselves. We are infinite. We are gloriously human including the good, the bad and the ugly.
So naturally, anger is a part of that; nevertheless, it is not useful to direct our anger to others.
Why? We can’t control them. We can inspire them but berating or making someone responsible for our anger is not effective. We can only control ourselves.
It’s healthy to feel and express emotions. Yet, nothing gives us the right to dump our crap onto someone else. Plus, it is the sure way to damage a relationship.
Instead, use it.
Use anger in a positive way so it doesn’t use you. Anger is great fuel for creative expressions such as your writing, drawing, painting, arts, and crafts, even cake decorating. You can make an angry cake.
- Anger can energize your physical expression like exercise, martial arts or dancing. Hit a pillow or punching bag. Singing and scream therapy feel wonderful because there are things inside of us that get released through the voice, which unblock energies.
- Explore your anger. Write an angry letter and tear it up.
- Use a journal to work through your feelings. Anger is part of the steps of grief. What is this anger really about? What I’m I trying to realize through this anger? What made you angry? Why? Who does it remind you of? How/Where/When do you do the same thing? You may do it at 5% and the person that made you angry showed you what 100% looks like so you can make a choice about your actions and how you show up.
As you explore, you may get to some version of a control or power issue, which can result in not accepting things as they are. The solution usually involves an acceptance piece that needs to be remembered or reintegrated.
Share your feelings if and when you can do so from a centered place. Remember that once you work it out, not everything needs to be shared. If you do, you may need to set a boundary so it needs to be delivered in a manner that serves you and everyone involved.
We all want the freedom to be who we are but sometimes we get upset when someone shows up angry. Everyone is allowed to feel what they feel. It is up to you whether you observe with compassion or take it on.
So by processing anger in a healthy way, you are doing a great service to everyone.
Life is what it is, and it is all happening for your benefit. Your power is in deciding how you want to relate to it.
In your theme park of experience, what is the role anger is playing? What role do you want it to play? As the creator, you get to decide.
Accept and appreciate your anger. Don’t deny your anger. Don’t use it against another. Use it as an opportunity to heal.
These days, I do my best not to take out my anger on anyone; especially, when they “deserve it.” I observe and inquire within to understand the dynamic at play so I can make empowered and glorious choices that bring out the wonder, wellness, and wisdom in all of us.