This column was originally published in the print edition of Florists’ Review Magazine 2018 September Issue. Subscribe & Save 67% Although written for florists, the message is universal.
Prepare yourself to be insult-proof in three simple steps!
Glorious Living with Macarena Luz Bianchi
Are you insult-proof?
Hostility can strike from anywhere and has a wide range from silent to verbally insulting. It is helpful to let all of it pass through you without taking it personally.
Recently in Chicago, I had the bizarre experience of going to The Wiener’s Circle for Chicago-style hot dogs and verbal insults. Our friends said something about the staff being rude, but it did not register nor prepare me to be crudely cursed at with hostile f-bombs in every sentence. Initially jarring, it was a blast to play along and swear like a sailor. When I asked someone to please hand me a napkin, I had to excuse myself and correct it by saying, “hand me a f*&^1nG napkin!” Every group that came in was startled at first then laughed and played along. It was a zen-like therapeutic practice. If only we could handle every insult with such a carefree attitude. The good news is, we can! Here’s how.
1. Have compassionate. Humans are complex and filled with shifting emotions. Hurt people hurt people. We cannot know what others are going through, so unconditional kindness is a service to all. You can consider, “What would the Dalai Lama do?”
2. Don’t take it personally. Remember that it is not about you unless you make it by taking it in. It is like playing tennis when the ball comes your way unless you hit back, there is no game.
3. Hold the space for peace. It is impossible to manage another’s wellbeing. All you can do is inspire peace by being calm and allowing the drama to pass without catching it and adding to it.
It is easier to do the above and be carefree when you feel good, are fully expressed (scream therapy and exercise help), and when you are present as we discussed in last month’s column, Your Presence is Required.
Be glorious & live well!
Your Virtual Fairy Godmother
Ps. How else can you insult-proof yourself? How about your team?
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Dr. Macarena Luz Bianchi is a flower lover, personal development coach, speaker and author of lighthearted empowering handbooks who loves tea and travel. You can sign up for her Wonder, Wellness & Wisdom WEEKLY WHIMS newsletter at MacarenaLuzBianchi.com.